By Suzette | May 04, 2013 at 06:56 AM EDT | No Comments
I have been so blessed by my co-workers at Lighthouse, and I am learning so much. So much about grace and mercy and faith and walking with God.
Here is a truth I have learned in the last week: I have told myself for almost 20 years that I was not angry about my daughter Katie's death. Everyone loses people, right? So why should I be any different? And who am I to question God?
Through conversations with my wonderful Christian friends at Lighthouse, I have come to realize that part of my make-up is to be a "pleaser" and a "good girl," and my denial of anger was a result of that way of thinking and being. But the fact of the matter is, I was angry, and I may have been able to fool myself, but I wasn't fooling God. The beautiful thing that I have learned is, it is okay to be angry, and I am allowed to come to Him and express that anger.
Through the love and encouragement of these special friends, I was able to have a few venting sessions with God, and let Him know just how ticked off I was about losing Katie, as well as some other injustices that have occurred in my life.
Did this "argument" put a wedge between God and me? That is the beauty of total honesty and transparency in any relationship - not only did it not put a disconnect in my relationship with Him, but I feel closer to Him than I ever have! Because we now have an authentic relationship! I have come to Him with my heart and soul ripped wide open, aired my dirty laundry of anger and bitterness that has been shoved down in my gut for a lifetime, and He still loves me!
My burdens are lifted! Hallelujah and Amen!
God bless and have a beautiful, love filled day!